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Living with your sexuality

Sexuality is a messy business and a some men find themselves attracted to other men at some point in their lives. Some hide that part of their sexuality to the back of their minds, and get married or form relationships with women to try and ‘deny’ their feelings, which can cause relationship problems later on if the feelings become stronger and they feel they have to do something about them. Some men only discover their same-sex attraction after they have been married some time, others have had feelings for many years.

 

Coming to terms with these gay or bisexual feelings can be difficult and distressing, particularly when that man is married, has kids and is used to living a ‘straight’ life. While some men choose to regard themselves as gay and others as bisexual (Being gay usually means a man being only attracted to other men. Bisexual or ‘bi’ men are generally attracted to both men and women) other men don’t identify as either gay or bisexual – they view themselves as straight men who occasionally get off with other men. Its not the label that matters, its up to you how you define yourself, or if you choose not to do so at all. 

 

A lot of men who are married are able to keep their attraction to other men under some sort of control. However, during times of stress it is often harder for them to do that. Some reach a point in their lives when they can’t deny their feelings any longer, and make a decision to do something about it.

 

Some choose to have sex with other men in secret. That’s their choice, but it can cause feelings of guilt which can be really difficult to deal with. Others reach a point where they want to change their whole life, and explore their sexuality openly, perhaps going on the gay scene or starting a long-term relationship with a male partner. Again these choices are very difficult ones, and will cause major changes in men’s lives and the lives of their families.

 

 

 

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